Boats and God Make Me Happy

So I went to Jesus camp.  Oh yes I did.  But not the stereotypical Jesus camp, but something much, much better.  I went to a place where outside troubles we're simply that: outside. Where fellow campers were not strangers, not merely friends, but after a day, family.  A place where mornings were not when you got up, but when you finally lay down to sleep.  Yep, our program was designed with a flipped schedule, stay up all night, sleep all day.  Did you know that pizza tastes it's absolute finest at 3 am? And that 10pm-1am is the perfect window for zip-lining?  I can sense the jealousy in you're thoughts.

The camp was on a river, and that's where the boats come in.  I've always loved being on a boat, a speed boat especially, but this time was different.  I was completely free of any worries, and my eyes were open to observe creation's beauty.  As we sped along the water and I gazed upon the vast orange sky, I found myself thinking the exact phrase "I never want to leave."

Needless to say, it was an amazing experience.  I was surrounded by God's love like never before.  I was so at peace there, so at home.  I've noticed that this summer, God has granted me peace.  And compared to the stress I put myself under during the school year, it's a drastic improvement.  I pray that I may continue possessing this peace into the new school year, but I'm fine with the summer being stretched as far as possible!

So, where's a place you would stay forever? 

Oh Literature....

I do two things when I get upset--sleep, or write.  Both never produce much, except for an improvement in my mood and maybe a few scribbled pages of angst, but this time was different.  I wrote the piece below when I was frustrated, and it ended up taking an unexpected turn, for the better, ending on a much lighter note. I hope you find something you can connect with :)

Stop. No one gave you permission to play with my feelings.  In fact, I'm the only one even capable of giving you such permission, and this I do not recall.  Yes, I'm talking to you old friend, whose sudden reappearance on Facebook reignites old scars buried deep.  The beginning of tears well up in my eyes. I blink them back.  No, not today.  I'm also addressing you, media, with your rampant rom-coms and make out scenes, romances that create a restless yearning in my chest despite their staged quality.  And you literature.  Mere words should not possibly have the power to make me angry to the point of screaming, confused to the point of pondering in silence for hours.  Yes, literature is the cruelest form of art.  The writer knows exactly the kind of pain he inflicts on his reader, but willingly writes on.  And the reader knows exactly the kind of pain he inflicts upon himself, but willingly reads on.  So maybe I did give you permission, literature, but that doesn't mean you're not screwing me over.

Diction Daydream- A Poem

Diction Daydream

 -Heather

The sun on my back,

The wind on my skin,

Waiting for words to sprout from within.

For unspoken beauty,

I scavenge my mind,

Praying it’s something of worth that I find.

I know that they’re in there,

These words for which I plea,

Yet the challenge of writing

Is setting them free.

Summer Sounds

In order to keep you in suspense (actually because my power is out and Wi-Fi time limited) I will save Addictive Emotions Part II for a later post.  For now enjoy some poetic rambling.

The symphony of summer dances in the air.

Flashes from fireflies keeping time,

as birds chirp the the melody.

Wet warmth embraces you from all sides,

like an armor protects you from cool reality.

Nothing else exists except the night,

the crickets,

the laughter.

Your helmet of humidity blocks all thoughts of tommorow,

leaving you in peace to savor the moment.  

Addictive Emotions Part I

     Anger, love, triumph, and security. Each of these emotions, and a couple more, reach so many areas of our thoughts that a certain euphoria surrounds them. Our minds and our hearts are exercised fully when experiencing these feelings, creating an energy about us that doesn't occur every day. We crave anger. We long for love. We strive for triumph, and we seek security. These natural thirsts affect almost everything we do. 
     Everyone has been at the point where they've been angry about something, but then want to finish and move on.  Yet when one reaches down into one's self, preparing to let go, attempting to forgive and forget, one hits a boundary; the choice between clinging to the rich, satisfying anger or sacrificing the bitterness for peace.  Sometimes peace seems boring, and one feels they have the right to stay bitter and scowl, because it's simply desirable.  It seems human nature has developed a taste for grudges, and it's hard to resist the craving.
     Tons of actions are rooted in the desire for love.  To be loved, to fall in love, to give love.  All a child wants is for their parents to love them.  The only reason romance is popular in entertainment is because a love story identifies  and draws on our own desires, and kittens just flat out demand love from us, and if we secretly want to give them our love, then I guess that's just another reason to get one.  So one really cannot deny love's effect on our actions.     

~ Stay Tuned for Triumph and Security! ~

Guess What!??

Design Cred : Aaron Jay via Threadless

So, I just found the list I made of all the things I intended to blog/write about but never did.  And without school sucking every ounce of free writing time from my life, I can now fulfill those intentions and make dreams come true!! So expect more posts. Even if few people read the posts, I am still writing and doing what I love, and practicing so I can improve. I fell in love with the design above, so I hope you love it as much as I do. But really I just put it there to make the post more interesting.  I hope I succeeded. (Woah, no way, I just checked spelling and spelled succeeded correctly, first try! Mini-win for the day.)

Poetry Snipet

An Unfinished, Untitled Poem (or lack thereof)

Tired form a journey of self exploration

Each new discovery requiring more explanation

A never ending road of thought and speculation

The only limits set by your imagination

Horizon Line

The sea. The ocean, so timeless, so independent, so influential. A muse to to countless artists across time. How long has man pondered its depths? How many centuries has it stared ominously back at the beach wanderer, so small and insignificant compared to the vast, blue horizon? No logic, problem, achievement, or strength of man can ever compare to this fact of nature. This collective mass of water, incessantly churning and changing, can swallow our world whole. Maybe literally, maybe not, but it's obvious its force and strength comes from something greater. From violent ebony to placid teal, like the sky, the sea has many faces. The sea and the sky. It's never occurred to me how parallel they truly are, even literally so. Both so in-comprehensively large. Mysterious, yet peaceful, humbling. The sea, teeming with life, the sky, housing the weather and saturated with stars. Ahh nature, never shall we master your wonders.

Be Here Now

Everyone lives in the past. Some more than others, but everyone does it. Everyone automatically relates present experiences to past ones, and new memories always trigger old ones. Once those memories are set free, for the rest of the time you're stuck basking in the hapiness of the old memory, or focusing on the hurt. And that stinks, because then it feels like you can't get over the past and then there's more frustration and, before you know it, the moment for making new memories is wasted. I think people are so preoccupied with the past because it's safe. There's no risk in the past, it already happened. It can't affect you any more, and you can talk and complain about it all you want. It's comfortable, almost satisfying, to focus on a past experience's emotion, such as anger, love, or sadness. Maybe it's your mind protecting you from creating more hurtful memories. Maybe we're just scared of what the present will bring. "Living in the moment" often has a slightly hedonistic association with it, but you can live in the moment while still being mindful of what you do. It's hard staying in the present, but I think more people should try it.

Idle Minds

It seems that today, we are afraid of silence. We are incapable at doing one thing at a time, or doing nothing at all. Even now I'm listening music, typing this line, and thinking about the next one, and thinking about me thinking about the next line and judging how you'll read this, all at the same time. There's always an earbud, a text message, a notification, or a TV show dividing our attention. I once read an article that said these distractions and our habit of multitasking has altered our brains to the point where it is physically harder to give one thing our undivided attention. I completely believe this, coming from the girl who once gave herself a headache trying to meditate. Maybe we can't become idle because we're afraid of what we'll hear. Perhaps the world is forcing views upon us that are so skewed and unnatural that, when we do hear our natural thoughts, they seem too wrong to tolerate. What would happen if we all tried to just BE for twenty minutes? Last time I did that, I came to a substantial religious realization, no joke. That's why after I post this I'm laying down on the floor, looking up to the ceiling and going where it takes me. I'm serious, that's what I'm going to do, and you should join me. Come on, let's ditch this world and start dreaming with our eyes open.